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There had been a clock and food and clothes and other provisions in that safe room with me. Once a single day had passed, I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to check and see what had happened. Certainly it had to all be over by now. My mother hadn’t come for me yet and I was prepared for what I would see.
Or so I had mistakenly and foolishly thought.
The carnage, though, the stench…my parents’ bodies lay in a puddle of their own blood. Furniture had been overturned. Everywhere I looked, there were signs of chaos, of fighting. My house looked foreign to me. Everything was out of place, out of sorts. It was all wrong.
There were a few other bodies, too. Father had not gone down without taking out others. I knew from the red and gold they were Golovkin’s men. Father had never shied away from telling me the truth about his life, and what would be my life one day. He never thought Golovkin would go after him, but that hadn’t meant my father was careless. We all had bodyguards. I learned to ignore mine, but his presence was a comfortable shadow. I never wanted a bodyguard, but I accepted why one was necessary.
My bodyguard was dead, too. So were my parents’. So much for the protection they offered.
Just before I had left their bedroom, I spied another dead Golovkin man. Buried in his ear was my mother’s dagger. She had fought back, too, a fact that did not surprise me. She had been the one to teach me martial arts. She was born into this life, too, not married in. It was a part of her, just as it was my father. Or, rather, it had been a part of them.
I tried to remove the dagger from the dead man’s ear, but it had been buried too deeply. I could hardly budge it at all. Luckily, I did find another knife on the floor, and I grabbed that, just in case. Despite considering whether or not this was wise or if I should return to my hiding spot, I searched the rest of the house.
A lot of good that did me, though I had been smart to arm myself at least.
The living room and the dining room were empty, but another man was lying in wait in the kitchen, his back to me as he rifled through our refrigerator. My hand trembled, and my arc was too wide. I thought I could do it, be like my parents, that I could put up a fight, that I could take him on despite being so much bigger than me. If I had wiped my palms first so they weren’t sweaty, if I hadn’t been so afraid, if my nerves hadn’t gotten the better of me, I might have been able to strike him.
But he must have heard me because he whirled around and knocked the knife from my hand. I didn’t even have time to see the gun before he shot me.
I collapsed immediately, onto my stomach. I didn’t cry out. I didn’t move. I just lay there. My father had died. My mother had died. And now I was going to die, too. That fright I felt just vanished. I was almost…at peace, strangely enough.
Dimly, I heard voices, one of which belonged to Vanya Golovkin. They thought me dead. They didn’t double check. And then they left.
This time, I waited longer to make sure no one else was still around. I might have even slept some, but I could never figure out if I had or not. If anything, I probably had passed out from the pain and blood loss more than actually falling asleep.
Eventually, some of our men returned, and they took care of me. They took me to a safe house and brought a doctor there to operate on me. During those early days of recovery, I berated myself for leaving the safe room, but no one other than my parents knew where it had been located. And with hearing the screams that were and weren’t real…I might have gone insane had I stayed in there for much longer.
Plus, I could use what had happened to my advantage. I could twist things around to suit myself because that fear and nervousness I had felt when I tried to attack that man had been reborn, just like I had been given a second chance at life. The fear and nervousness were now power and rage.
Vanya Golovkin, that horrible villain, thought I was dead.
But I had survived. And I vowed revenge.
And now the fiend had dared to return.
I shook my head to blot out the memories and held onto the railing of the balcony. I could barely stop myself from hunting down Golovkin right this very moment and executing him right where he stood, but I knew I had to do more than that. I had to ruin Golovkin and his family completely before enacting my vengeance, or more like as part of my vengeance. I’d never forget how I felt when I realized he had also killed my aunt and uncle and my ten-year-old cousin. Every blood relative of mine he had killed. A swift death would be too kind.
Quicker than a snake, I reentered my bar and took my private stairs all the way down to the basement. In addition to the bar, I also ran an underground gambling ring. It was past time for tonight’s game of cards. Everyone would be waiting on me, and while it might be a good idea to keep them on their toes, I did not want to be alone right now.
My men greeted me warmly, but I had no smiles to share. I retrieved a bottle of imported beer and drank all of it before sitting down to play. After the obligatory game with everyone, during which I only had one more beer, I broke off to a side table with my right-hand men, Alec and Nicolai.
Alec cut the deck and dealt the cards. “What is it?” he asked quietly out of the corner of his mouth. An old knife wound caused the left side of his mouth to not move. It gave him a startling appearance. It also made him too distinct to be able to melt into a crowd, so I tended to keep him close by me.
“Vanya Golovkin is back,” I said without preamble, watching their faces closely.
“Want me to knife him in the back?” Nicolai offered, his hand going to his side. He always kept at least ten weapons on him at all times. Honestly, it was surprising Alec had the visible scar compared to Nicolai, who got into more than double the amount of fights as Alec.
I waved his words and his offer away. “Killing him isn’t enough. He and his family will be ruined first.” I slapped my fist into my open palm.
“How are we going to do that?” Alec asked. He fiddled with the cards in his hand, but I knew I had his full attention. He was trying to make sure no one was paying us any attention, that they would think we were just playing a round. That he felt the need to put on a show here, when my men surrounded us, made me uneasy.
I could trust everyone here…couldn’t I? I would be a fool to blindly trust them all, and I was no fool.
“We’ll think of something.” I appraised the two of them. We had gone through the wars together. Nicolai and Alec were trustworthy, maybe even more trustworthy than I was. They would help me with everything, no matter how crazy it seemed. And this next part was going to seem more than a little crazy. “I also need to take care of something else,” I added casually. I laid a card down, continuing Alec’s charade.
“What is it?” Nicolai asked. He tossed his cards down, folding without even looking at them first.
“I need to find a woman to sire an heir in case I should be killed,” I said as calmly as if I had asked for a new suit.
I was the last remaining Kovalsky, and without an heir, my family mob would disintegrate. I would never ever allow that to happen. Vanya Golovkin had taken too much from me already. He would not take my future, too. I would not go down without a fight.
I would not go down period.
Chapter 3
Lily
The next morning went by more quickly than I thought possible. Between taking care of Mom and searching for job leads on my computer, I was so stressed out I wanted to rip out all of my hair one strand at a time.
My cell rang, and I groaned. I wearily rubbed my tired eyes and answered it. “Hello?” I ran a hand down my face. All I wanted to do was to go back to bed. To go back to yesterday and find a way to keep my job. No. To go back to before Mom’s diagnosis. No. Even farther back, so I could force Mom to get checked much earlier. If the cancer had been found earlier, maybe she would’ve been cured by now.
But that was all wishful thinking, and wishes were for fools.
“You aren’t the only one having a hard time right now,” Denise said gloomily. She sounded fa
r unhappier than she had in a long, long time.
“Uh-oh,” I said sympathetically. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so tired anymore. “What happened?”
“It’s…” She sighed heavily. “I don’t wanna dump on you. You have so much more on your plate, more than anyone should have to deal with and—”
“Denise, I’m your best friend. Of course I want to know what’s going on. Just because my life is going down the toilet doesn’t mean I can’t still be here for you.”
“You sure?” When I didn’t respond, she added, “Well, after I tried to find you leads, I went out with Alec.” She paused.
I grimaced. Denise liked bad boys, and Alec was probably the baddest out of all of the ones she had dated. I didn’t care for the guy, personally, but Denise had been head over heels for him. She really thought he might be the one. Of course, she thought that with every guy she dated.
And the worst part about Alec was that he was probably a mobster. Seriously. Who would date a guy like that? Yeah, even I thought he was hot, but that shouldn’t be enough to make someone turn a blind eye to his flaws. Denise liked to walk the wild side, and while I liked bad boys myself — more accurately, I had a major weakness for them — a mobster? Never!
“What happened?” I asked, kinda hoping he had dumped her because Denise wasn’t even considering that, and she just plain didn’t see he was no good for her. She deserved someone who would treat her like gold. I’d never forget the time she called me in tears because Alec cancelled plans on her at the last minute. She’d spent a pretty penny on tickets to a ball game for the two of them for his birthday, and something came up and he just dropped the, well, he dropped the ball.
I clicked on the next link for a company looking for a secretary. Not much of a web presence and it would be an hour commute. Too far. If something happened to Mom, I needed to be much closer to home. Cross that one off the list.
“Did you hear me?” Denise asked. Her tone suggested mild annoyance, which actually made me feel a little better since I’d rather her feel angry with me than for her to wallow.
I winced. The last thing I needed was to push my only true support away. “I’m sorry. I’m a little distracted. What did you say?”
“He dumped me,” Denise wailed. “I can’t believe it. I mean, I gave him everything he could have asked for. I was the perfect girlfriend for him. I was kind and loving and not too clingy. I just don’t know what went wrong.”
“It’s a good thing,” I muttered without thinking.
“What was that?” she asked, her tone sharp.
Crap. I hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Me and my big mouth. “It’s—”
“It’s not a good thing!” she fumed. “How could you say that? Seriously, Lily! You know how much I cared for him!”
I winced again. “I didn’t—”
“I heard you!” she shouted.
“I’m sorry. I’m just…I’m overwhelmed. I’m trying to find a new job and—”
“You want a new job? I got one for you.” She still sounded pissed, so whatever job she was going to mention was going to be completely off the wall. “Maybe you should get with Alec’s boss.”
“His boss?” What was she talking about?
“Yeah, some guy named Anton. I’ve met him a few times.” She didn’t sound quite so pissed any more, at least. “I thought Alec was hot, but even he has nothing on Anton.”
Now that was saying something. What did this guy look like? “What about this hot Anton?”
“You should get with him,” Denise said. “Anton’s looking for a woman to give him an heir. He wants to knock someone up, and it sounds like he’s willing to pay big money for it.”
What the heck? How in the world could Denise even propose such a thing for me to do? She must be really ticked off that I hadn’t been listening to her. Or she really was seriously bent over Alec.
But even more than her suggesting it, I was taken aback by the whole idea of needing an heir. “Isn’t that really archaic?” I asked.
“Kinda. It’s probably a Russian thing. It’s kinda strange, I know.”
Too strange for me. I shook my head. “Hey, I really am sorry I wasn’t listening to you more. You just know how I feel about Alec. You deserve better. I’m just looking out for you. You know I always have your back.”
Denise blew out a breath. “Yeah, I know you always hated him,” she muttered.
“Hate’s too strong a word. I just love you enough to be real with you. You need a guy who can be there for you. How many times did he blow you off for unknown reasons? He always had excuses, but he never bothered to share them,” I pointed out.
“You have a point. It’s just…he made me laugh and smile, and yeah…you might have a point. I wasn’t completely stupid for being with him, was I?”
“No,” I assured her. Alec, for all of his faults, had made Denise happier than some of the other guys she’d dated.
“Well, my lunch break is just about over. Gotta run.” She hesitated. “I’m sorry I brought up the whole Anton thing. I know it’s not your thing.”
I laughed without humor. “Right? Totally crazy.”
We hung up, and for the next hour, I called around to a bunch of companies to see if they had any job openings. I even called up that place that was way too far of a commute. Nothing worked out. They either weren’t looking to hire anyone or else had already hired someone and so any positions were now unavailable.
This was unreal. I couldn’t believe it, but I was so incredibly desperate I was actually thinking about it. The idea of Anton needing an heir, it sounded so old-fashioned, and it also made me think about the notion of old money, too. This Anton…would he be willing to pay top dollar to the surrogate? Just how much money were we talking? Denise had mentioned big money, but just how big?
No. This was crazy talk. There had to be another job out there. There had to be.
I did more digging and found a few small restaurants that were looking for waitresses, but the pay was laughable and the area of town they were situated in meant tips were not going to be stellar. Hell, I might make more money collecting from unemployment than if I took one of them. Maybe instead of waiting on tables, I should dance on them.
Which had me cycling back around Anton and his heir.
Just then, coughing sounded. I raced to Mom’s room. She was sleeping fitfully, tossing and turning. She had lost a lot of weight since her diagnosis, and there were times when I almost didn’t recognize her. She was so frail. Treatment was almost running her more ragged than the cancer itself. I hated seeing her so weak and worn all the time. She used to run me everywhere. I did a bunch of sports in school, and she got me clothes and equipment from secondhand stores. After Dad died, we didn’t have a lot of money, but I never wanted for anything. She gave me everything I could have ever hoped for.
Now, her remission was all I hoped for.
I closed the door quietly and walked away. I would do anything for Mom. I would go to any length to ensure she could still receive treatment, so she had her best chance at remission.
Which meant I knew what I had to do.
I was going to seek out this Anton guy and offer myself as the mother of his child.
Chapter 4
Anton
I had spread the word to my men about needing an heir but gave them clear instructions to not tell anyone about it. The last thing I needed was for word to spread to the wrong people. Or the wrong women. I didn’t want just any woman to be the mother of my heir. I didn’t just want a woman who was leaping at the chance to make some money. I didn’t want a woman who couldn’t be trusted. I didn’t want an ugly woman, as vain as that sounded. It wouldn’t do for my heir to be ugly.
The mother would have to be willing to stay under my protection, to take care of herself and her pregnant body. She would have to be intelligent and maybe kind. I was not a kind man, but maybe my heir could inherit that from her. Of course, since she wouldn’t have a hand in raising him, ma
ybe that was wishful thinking.
I had given a lot of thought to the kind of woman I wanted, but I hadn’t yet figured out how to go about finding her, but find her I would.
The next night after I learned about my hated enemy coming to town, I returned to my bar. Smoking a cigar and drinking did little to ease my nerves. I kept jumping at every shadow, seeing ghosts when nothing was there. Last night, I had slept little, if at all. I refused to be scared, to revert to the terrified boy listening to imagined screams. I would have my revenge, and as such, I had my men more focused on locating Vanya Golovkin than on finding me a woman. That I could handle myself.
But where could I find a woman to have a child with quickly? I needed one who would agree to my conditions.
A curvy brunette entered the establishment and glanced around, hesitating by the door. I straightened in my seat, watching her. I hadn’t seen her before, and she seemed too innocent to be here. Yes, the bar itself was more upscale than most, but the gambling ring, the drugs, the fighting…that wasn’t her scene at all, and her appearance here had me instantly intrigued. She wore a long trench coat that hid her clothes but was tied tightly enough that I could see her curves, her hourglass figure. Her hair bounced as she glanced around some more, and she held a worn purse close to her as if she was afraid someone would snatch it and take off.