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  “What? That’s terrible,” Cal said, some new emotion flashing from behind his eyes in response to Antonia’s last statement.

  “Yeah, well, it wasn’t fun, that’s for sure,” Antonia said with a drawn-out sigh, reaching across the dining room table to pour herself some more wine. She had somehow stumbled into a makeshift therapy session with her boss, a guy she was pretty certain didn’t even like her that much, so she figured she needed more wine if she was going to survive this encounter with her whole mind and spirit intact. “Anyway, we’ve been broken up for a couple years now, but he keeps…causing problems.”

  “Like what?” Cal asked, his brow furrowed in concentration. Antonia never would have guessed that he would be such a good listener, but then again he’d have to be, to be successful as a physical therapist which, from the looks of his lifestyle, he was.

  “Well…” Antonia hesitated to tell the full story, aware that she sounded a little bit irrational. Ah, fuck it, she thought to herself. She’d been pretty brutally honest with Cal about his flaws as a father. It was only fair that she share her own flaws with him, too. “I’m pretty sure he got me fired. And evicted. I’m not sure what I did to piss him off this time, but I think he called in a complaint to my boss and then on the same day threatened my landlord. He gets…possessive.”

  “You’re not together anymore, though,” Cal pointed out.

  “Yeah,” Antonia agreed. “But logic doesn’t really appeal to him very much. I mean, if he wanted me so badly, you’d think he wouldn’t have cheated on me with some secretary down at the precinct. But he did, so…” She trailed off again, reaching for more wine to numb herself to the emotions that were being reawakened by this conversation.

  “What a fucking loser,” Cal said, speaking with a sharp edge to his voice that Antonia had never heard before. It was like he was angry—furious, in fact—and holding it in behind a careful mask of objectivity. But Antonia could see through it, looking into Cal’s eyes. There was a fire that burned in his pupils. It made her squirm a little in her seat, unsure of what to do. A part of her wanted to thank him for feeling so angry on her behalf, but there was another, more frightened, more defensive part of her mind that felt naked, totally exposed under his gaze. I shouldn’t have told him anything about my private life. I can’t trust him. I’m being stupid. I’m drinking too much, she thought to herself even as she kept sipping on her wine.

  She cleared her throat after swallowing, deciding to change the subject. “Anyway, the whole thing gave me Daniel. That makes it worth it.”

  Cal shifted uncomfortably on his feet, tapping his fingers against the top of the table before returning his gaze to Antonia’s eyes, staring at her so intensely that Antonia almost flinched. Almost.

  Finally, he broke the silence, asking in an uncharacteristically soft voice, “Do you really believe that? That it was meant to be? Like there’s a purpose for everything?”

  “I don’t know,” Antonia said. “But I believe you have to make the best of whatever happens, no matter how shitty it is.” She was unsure what they were talking about, exactly, except that it wasn’t a typical therapy session. Somewhere, hiding underneath their words, they were talking about Cal’s issues, maybe even his issues with Bobby. But she didn’t need to know more than that. Nurses and nannies have their own way of treating people’s minds, she thought to herself proudly as she saw Cal crack a slightly hopeful smile.

  “All right, well, I better head to bed. I’ve got an early day tomorrow,” Cal said.

  “Again?” Antonia asked. “You’ve been working really hard. And you go to night appointments, too? I can’t imagine where you get the energy.”

  Cal started to say something, opening his mouth a little, but then he shut it again, shaking his head instead. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow. Have as much wine as you want. Later.”

  He disappeared up the stairs, heading to his bedroom and shutting the door loudly enough that Antonia could hear from downstairs in the kitchen. Ah, what the hell? Antonia thought to herself as she poured a final glass of wine to drink before going to bed.

  Her body buzzed pleasantly, wrapped in some gentle comforting warmth that soothed her to the core, but somehow she thought that it wasn’t just the effect of all the alcohol. It was something else, something that only came about because she talked to Cal. She just knew it.

  It’s different, living with a man this way, she thought to herself as she sipped at the wine. Maybe they can only open up to women if they aren’t fucking them. Maybe romance and sex and everything that comes attached to it messes up the communication pathways, and there’s no way to fix it once it’s broken.

  One thing was clear to Antonia, above all else. This was so much better than living with Paul had been. She could get used to it, having a man in the house she could talk to, who would listen to her, who would help her bear her emotional burdens.

  You’re being silly, she said to herself as she drained the dregs from her glass and walked to the sink to rinse it. This is just a temporary thing. Once he gets sick of Bobby, he’ll be done with you, and it’ll be back to abject poverty for both you and Daniel. Don’t get used to it.

  Still, as she slipped off to sleep, she couldn’t help but feel like this was where she was meant to be, at least for the moment.

  Chapter Eight

  Cal

  “Jesus Christ, what other bullshit are you going to send to me now?” Cal growled to himself as he hopped on his bike and tore away from the Bone Breakers compound.

  “Cal! Cal, come on, man!” his number two man, Archie, shouted behind him.

  Cal groaned and sped up, pretending he hadn’t heard his friend yell after him. Three different Bone Breakers got arrested tonight, all in different parts of town. By itself, that wouldn’t be so weird, but at least another half-dozen members had gotten arrested the month before, too. Something was up. This wouldn’t happen all at once, just by mere coincidence. Someone was gunning for them, and he had to figure out who it was before he lost any more of his men to the law.

  And that’s not even half of my problems, Cal thought as he pulled onto the highway, weaving through traffic so he could get home as quickly as possible. Earlier this year, they’d lost out on a major drug deal when another MC in the area stole their goods before they could make a cent. The monetary loss for that failure was bad enough, but it had hurt their reputation among the other MCs and gangs in the tri-state area. Things just seemed to be piling up on Cal, one after another after another, especially since he had Bobby to deal with now. He’ll be asleep by now at least, he thought to himself as he sped down the road to his house. I won’t have to deal with him. He felt a hard pang of guilt hit him right in the chest. He knew he shouldn’t think of his probable son in that way, like a chore to do or a burden to bear, but he couldn’t force himself to muster up any emotion other than dread when it came to Bobby, which only made Cal hate himself even more. He couldn’t seem to do anything right. He wasn’t a good father. He wasn’t good at leading the MC. Since he’d been so stressed out lately, he was even slipping when it came to his patients. Cal gripped the handlebars of his bike so hard his hands ached, but he couldn’t relax his grip at all, not even when he pulled up to his own house.

  Cal switched off the engine but remained on the bike for a long moment, staring down at his own arms, shivering a little in the midnight chill. He looked up at his house and saw that all the windows were dark, save one. The kitchen. Antonia’s still awake and messing around in there, he thought to himself, swallowing hard to clear his throat. Staring at the little block of light shining out from the bottom window of his house, he felt resentment boil up inside of him. Why couldn’t she just go to bed early so he could pretend that his house was still his own, so he could stew in his loneliness and drink himself to sleep without worrying that someone would judge him for it? Why did any of this bullshit have to happen to him? Cal just wanted to be left alone. He didn’t want to have deal with any kids or any beaut
iful women with piercing eyes that seemed to strip through every layer of his skin. He just wanted to live in his own private misery, away from curious eyes. Was that really so much to ask?

  Apparently it was, Cal thought as he forced himself off his bike, slowly walking up the sidewalk to the front door. He hesitated a moment before turning the knob and stepping inside, his body freezing in place like it desperately needed those last few seconds of solitude before going back into the house where three other people currently lived. Get on with it, he told himself as he finally stepped inside his house, slamming the door behind him just to get some of the anxious angry energy out of his body.

  Looking back on it later, Cal wouldn’t be able to tell himself why he didn’t go straight upstairs. He had no excuse, really. After whining to himself for a half-hour about having to deal with other people, he should have just bolted straight to his room and stayed there the whole night, ignoring Antonia and the boys until he could mentally prepare himself for interacting with them. But he didn’t do that.

  Instead, he found himself walking towards the kitchen, opening the door to reveal Antonia chopping something up on a cutting board next to the sink. She had headphones in her ears and was humming something that Cal didn’t recognize. She had her back to him, her hips swaying a little to the music he couldn’t hear as she chopped away at some long green vegetable. In the back of his mind, Cal wondered what she was making. It was after midnight, after all, but ultimately it didn’t matter that much. All he could focus on was the rhythm of her hips as they moved to the beat. Standing there across from her, it was like Cal could hear the song she was listening to, as if he could feel the bass that was encouraging her to move back and forth, sticking her ass out like there was nobody watching. As far as Antonia knows, nobody is watching her, Cal realized, his mouth going dry as she swirled her body in one continuous motion.

  Cal knew he should have either left the room or said something to let her know he was there. If he were in her position, he’d be incredibly humiliated if someone saw him dancing like an idiot, but then again, he didn’t have Antonia’s body. She had these amazing curves that Cal almost always forgot were there underneath her cheap, stiff clothing. She looked so goddamned tempting, and anyway, there was something shameless about the way she moved, something so self-assured and confident, like she knew how hot she was. She was giving such a good performance that it would be such a shame to take away her audience. At least, that was how Cal justified it to himself.

  “Mmm, ohhh, touch me,” Antonia sang out, her voice high and sweet like a morning bird’s. Cal’s heart rate rocketed up, his pulse reverberating loudly in his ears as his feet moved forward, taking him closer to the dancing nanny in front of him. He couldn’t stop himself. To be honest, he didn’t even want to. His mind was still a tangle of ferocious emotions—anger and fear and self-hatred and lust all balled up in a stubborn knot. He didn’t have room in his head or his heart for any doubt. He simply didn’t have the capacity to stop himself from going up behind Antonia, stopping an inch away from her back.

  Suddenly, Antonia went stiff, her shoulders rolling back and her hips going still before she reached up to take her headphones out of her ears. “Um…Cal?” she said in a small, fearful voice, clearly worrying that some intruder had broken in and crept up behind her while she wasn’t paying attention.

  Before he even knew what he was doing, Cal pounced on her, wrapping his arm tightly around her waist and attacking her bare neck with his teeth. “Oh! Oh, my God!” Antonia cried out, slapping her hand over her mouth a moment later like she was surprised at the volume of her own voice.

  Cal growled and bit harder into her skin, licking her flesh frantically to taste the salts and proteins that composed Antonia’s skin cells. He could taste her sweat, kissing her over and over again and imagining all the labor that she’d done that day, all the effort she’d invested in making this house a home. It made him angry and relieved at the exact same time. Who the hell was this bitch, coming in here out of nowhere and acting like she owned the place, letting the kids tear the house up, telling him what he needed to do and how he needed to do it? It was ridiculous. He was the man of the house, and he needed to show her who was boss.

  But at the same time, even just listening to her quiet moans, the heavy sighs that left her mouth every time he kissed and pulled at her sensitive skin, Cal felt himself calm down, the tormenting emotions from before leaving his body little by little, more and more as he clutched harder at Antonia’s chest, shamelessly grabbing at her bountiful breasts.

  “Jesus Christ,” Antonia groaned out, rocking her head back on Cal’s shoulder. She still hadn’t turned and seen him. Cal wondered if she knew for sure that it was him yet, but really he didn’t care that much either way. There was no way he was going to stop what he was doing, not until he had completely dominated the woman before him in every conceivable way. “Fuck, god damn it,” Antonia breathed out as he squeezed harder at her tits, whining lowly as his mouth traveled to the back of her neck, making all of her little hairs perk up with his tongue.

  God, her body was even hotter than he’d realized. Sure, she was gorgeous to look at, but he never knew how curvy she really was until he got his hands on her, letting his fingers roam down her front until he found the hem of her shirt, tugging it up over her head and tossing it across the room. If he hadn’t been so pissed off, so wound up with tension and excess energy, he might have decided to take his time, letting his hands wander over every inch of her uncovered skin. But he didn’t have patience for that tonight. He unclasped her bra and threw it away in the general direction of her shirt. Antonia gasped softly and brought her hands up to cover her bare breasts, but when Cal growled right into her ear she let them drop again, leaving her tits vulnerable to Cal’s hungry, desperate touch.

  He brought one hand to one of her nipples, pulling at it lightly while his mouth went over to her ear, licking the top before going down to lightly tug and bite at the lobe. “Oh, Jesus, fuck, fucking hell,” Antonia whispered, groaning deep from her throat as she bent her head back further, giving him access to the front of her neck while his other hand drifted down to the button on her jeans.

  “Yes, oh, God, yes,” Antonia groaned, shoving her ass back until it collided with the front of Cal’s jeans, rubbing up against his ever-hardening cock teasingly. Cal lost his breath for a minute, his mouth falling away from Antonia’s throat as his mind became enraptured by the sensation of her covered ass grinding up against him. She wanted it. So he was going to take it, right now, without even saying a single word.

  Cal yanked on the button and zipper of her jeans, pushing them down along with her underwear to the ground. Antonia gasped but made no move to cover herself this time, leaning her weight back onto Cal’s body, apparently totally confident that he would support her so she wouldn’t fall. For some reason that just made Cal hotter, his dick twitching in his jeans as he shoved his crotch harder against her ass, wanting her to feel how much he wanted her.

  “Yeah, do it,” her low whisper barely audible under the hum of the heating system filling the air around them with warmth. “Please.”

  Cal grinned to himself, leaning in again to breathe hotly against Antonia’s ear, making her squirm like she’d been tickled. He felt a surge of satisfaction as she moaned and whimpered, his blood pumping harder through his veins as he realized how much power he had over her. God, it was intoxicating, watching her react to his touch. Under different circumstances, he’d have loved to tease her all day, do everything imaginable to her before giving her what she wanted. But he couldn’t hold himself back any longer. After grabbing a condom from his pocket, he ripped his own jeans off in one clean, smooth motion, kicking them away to the other side of the room before turning back to Antonia and forcing her to bend forward so that her ass was suspended up in the air. “Yeah,” Antonia whispered, more to herself than for Cal’s ears, but he became even more turned on just from the sheer desire in her voice, the way
she seemed to tremble with the force of her own lust. Cal ran his hands down her back, raking his nails across her spinal column until she shivered like a tree caught up in a thunderstorm, vulnerable and strong all at once.

  Cal gave his thick cock a few quick strokes before rolling the condom down his length and aligning the head of his dick with Antonia’s wet little hole. He couldn’t see it from this angle, but he could already tell that she was tight as hell, just from the way she clenched around his tip.

  “Mmm, yes,” she groaned softly, reaching behind her back blindly with one hand to grab the back of Cal’s leg, wordlessly urging him to come closer. Cal complied with her request, shoving half of his cock inside of her.

  “Ah! Fuck!” Antonia cried out, whimpering pathetically, as if she was in pain. Cal wondered to himself if he should check in with her to make sure that everything was okay, but then the next second Antonia began to bear down on his cock, pushing her ass out further to take more of him into her sweet, almost unbearably tight cunt. “Do it. Fucking do it,” she grunted out, panting hard for breath as Cal began to pull out slowly. He shoved himself in again, this time burying himself to the hilt.