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  “Thank you…” Antonia finally whispered. She swallowed heavily as she wrapped an arm around Cal’s shoulders, pulling him in so she could kiss him again. “So fucking sweet,” she muttered into his mouth. She tugged gently but firmly at his bottom lip and nibbled at him.

  The kiss soon became deeper, the two of them clawing at each other’s backs as they sucked on each other’s tongues and buried their faces into each other’s shoulders to bite at the other’s sensitive neck. Antonia’s hands drifted down Cal’s back and scratched at his spinal column before digging her nails into his ass. He groaned out into the hollow of her neck, dragging his teeth along her throat, and she dug into him even harder in response. He felt like he was being torn apart, his body’s energy converted into a tool for Antonia to use, but he didn’t mind. He wanted her to grab at him even harder, pull him this way and that. He wanted her to do exactly what she wanted to do, without hesitation or worry that it was the “wrong” thing to do. Cal could tell there was a beast lurking beneath Antonia’s skin, a monstrously hungry thing that needed to tear into him with her teeth and nails and dripping cunt, and he wanted to see more of it. He wanted her to completely relax, to let all of her guards down and show herself to him, fully, freely, without a single drop of shame. Despite everything—despite the fear that clutched at Cal’s heart, the worry that neither of them were ready for this, the hesitation that they could be messing up a good thing by turning a fuck session into something more—Cal still wanted to get to know Antonia, to meet the real her hiding behind the façade she’d created to survive as a single mother. I want to fucking know you, he thought as he licked at her throat, sliding his teeth along the sensitive patch of skin right behind her earlobe. I want you to surrender to me, to give up everything, to show me the real you. I fucking want you.

  But he had a feeling that to spring open the locks around her heart and mind, he’d have to dominate her body first, more thoroughly than ever before. Cal gripped the back of Antonia’s head, keeping in her place by her hair while he worked at her neck, sucking hard enough to leave a trail of deep purple parks all the way from her collarbone to her ear. “So fucking beautiful,” Cal murmured into her ear, grinning at the pleading noises that kept leaving Antonia’s mouth as he nibbled on the top of her ear.

  “Fucking give it to me,” Antonia grunted out. She lifted her hips and knocked into Cal’s cock as she wrapped her legs around his waist to encourage him to fuck her.

  “Ooh, impatient, are we?” Cal teased her. He dropped soft, soothing kisses along the side of her head, traveling down to her forehead to finally kiss between her eyes. “I’m going to be real nice to you tonight,” Cal said. He pulled back a little so he could kiss her chin and the top of her chest, watching as Antonia sunk deeper into the couch cushion beneath them as relaxation swept over her, the tension in her muscles easing as Cal caressed her skin.

  “Please,” Antonia whimpered. She leaned up to kiss Cal’s mouth so deeply that he lost his breath for a few moments until she pulled back away from him. “Please, I need you. I need you, Cal.” Her eyes slid shut again as she sighed raggedly, pulling on Cal with her legs until his cock brushed up against her lower stomach. She sounded so sincerely exhausted, so raw and open, her whole body responding to his touches so intensely that it was like all of her nerve endings were fully alert. She looked so vulnerable, her brows still furrowed up, as tiny soft moans left her throat. Cal wanted to tease her, to drive her to the point of near insanity the way she had done to him, but he just couldn’t bring himself to hold back anymore—not when she needed him so badly, when she was so brave as to honestly confess that she needed him. He had to reward her courage. He had to give her what she wanted.

  “All right, baby,” he whispered. He kissed the top of her head before pulling back entirely, ignoring her weak protest as he leaned down to grab a condom out of his pants pocket. “I’m coming, I swear, I’m coming, darling,” he murmured as he unwrapped the condom and rolled it down the length of his dick. He pressed his cock up against her entrance but held himself back from pushing inside right away. He wanted her to have a chance to get ready for him or to pull back entirely if she had second thoughts. But instead she wrapped her legs more tightly around his waist, urging him closer while her two hands reached out to grab his face, forcing him to look at her as the very tip of his cock slipped inside of her.

  “Oh, oh, shit,” Antonia whispered. She licked her lips and let her eyes roll back into her head as Cal pushed inside a little deeper. “Yeah, baby, that’s good. That’s fucking good. I like that.”

  Cal smiled and wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. Then he braced his weight by pressing both of his arms down deep into the couch cushion on either side of Antonia’s head. “You’re just pulling me in, aren’t you, baby?” he grunted as he felt his cock slip inside a little deeper. Antonia’s cunt clenched the throbbing head of his dick. “So nice and tight. So warm and wet for me.”

  “Yeah, just for you, all for you,” Antonia whispered. She dragged her nails down the skin of Cal’s back again, making his spine arch as pain mixed with pleasure, his hips moving forward of their own accord to sink more of his cock into Antonia’s body. She leaned up to kiss and bite and suck at the side of Cal’s throat while her hands wandered down to his ass, pressing on him to encourage him even deeper inside of her. Cal could feel her hole quivering around him, tightening her internal grip even more as he sank all the way in, pressing up against her innermost walls. Cal gasped for air as he bore down inside of her, feeling like all of the life and energy inside of him was being slowly squeezed out of his body through his cock, but he didn’t care. It was almost scary, feeling overwhelmed by a sea of sensations that washed over him in a barrage of powerful waves, rocking him to his core. But he wanted it too much to stop. His lungs almost burned with the effort it took to power his body as he began thrusting in and out, careful not to come too quickly even though the temptation to let loose into Antonia’s body was almost irresistible.

  Antonia murmured into his neck. Her hot breath on his ear, the tickling sensation of her lips against his sensitive skin, made it hard for Cal not to squirm. Focusing on his mission to make Antonia fall apart as fast as he was, he adjusted the angle of his hips so that he pressed up against a new spot inside of her. In response, her spine stiffened and her fists pounded against his shoulders. “Oh, fuck!” she cried out, convulsing a little before she wrapped her arms tighter around Cal’s chest, hugging close to him as he fucked in and out of her tight hole. “Jesus Christ.”

  “Good?” Cal asked, checking in. He didn’t want to attack her body like this unless she wanted to be overwhelmed, but one look into her eyes told him all that he needed to know. Her gaze was burning with desire, her mouth open in an almost feral growl as she thrust her hips up to meet Cal’s rocking motions, encouraging him to fuck her harder.

  “So fucking good,” she murmured. Cal sped up. His cock slid in and out more smoothly as she became wetter and wetter around him. “Please, baby, please.”

  Cal couldn’t keep himself from kissing her, crashing his mouth into hers and breathing her air as he moved even faster. Sweat pooled under his kneecaps and arms as he pushed his body to the limit. He bit down on Antonia’s lip, inwardly smiling as she bit back harder, sucking and licking at his lips furiously while his hips kept up a steady rhythm. He could feel Antonia’s cunt vibrate around him, the buzz of her flesh practically audible as her moans grew louder and more desperate. Cal felt like he could sense everything that Antonia was feeling. The warmth of their bodies wrapped around them like a cocoon, trapping them inside the sensations that were steadily overtaking their minds, obliterating all other thoughts until they were both entirely focused on the spreading heat between their legs, the wonderful tangle of pleasure that just kept getting bigger and bigger and brighter and brighter as Cal pushed himself deeper into Antonia’s body.

  “Fuck, fuck me, fuck, fuck, fuck!” Antonia called out, her
would-be screams coming out as hissing whispers as she arched her back and forced her hips up into the air, achieving maximum penetration before falling back down again. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh!”

  “Yes, give it to me, give it to me, baby,” Cal whispered. He licked along the top of Antonia’s earlobe as he panted desperately for breath, chasing his own orgasm. He felt a distinct twinge of pain mixed with pleasure at the base of his stomach, telling him that he didn’t have long before the sensations between his legs would combine into a tremendous explosion that could shatter all of his thoughts into a million pieces. He had to hold onto this moment while he still could, had to treasure it the way it deserved to be treasured. Antonia was opening up for him like a flower reaching for the first rays of sun in the morning, like a bruised petal drifting towards the light. He had to commit this moment to memory forever, so that he would never run out of reasons to fight for his life. He’d been so downtrodden lately, so exhausted and devoid of hope. But how could he feel that way when this moment existed? How could he rationalize feeling shitty when he was so lucky as to experience this miracle, feeling Antonia give in to him, submitting to his will, not because he was more powerful than her but precisely because he’d effectively reassured her that there was no way she could ever lose her own power. He was helping Antonia find herself by fucking her within an inch of her life, and he never wanted this moment to end.

  “Oh, shit! Fuck, there, right there!” Antonia cried out so loud right into his that his eardrum ached, but he didn’t give a fuck. He would sacrifice everything, give up everything, feel whatever pain was necessary just to allow this moment to continue, to help Antonia feel the overwhelming combination of sensations that were so clearly overtaking her.

  “Yeah baby, give in to it,” Cal whispered, pressing his lips to hers softly even as his hips rocketed forward even harder than before, bearing down hard into her blooming, dripping pussy. “Give in to me. I got you. I got you, baby. You can do this. Just let go.”

  “Ahh! Ahh! Fuck!” Antonia cried out. Her torso twisted impossibly in on itself as her pussy began to pulse rapidly, vibration after vibration after vibration coursing over Cal’s cock like a sonic boom, like a tornado of pleasure ripping everything up from the ground and slamming it back down into place again.

  “Yes, yes, yes!” Cal screamed as he felt Antonia’s pussy clench even tighter around him, convulsions driving him over the edge, too. “Oh, fuck!” His hips pushed forward three, four, five more times before coming to a still as his cock pulsed inside of Antonia’s cunt, cum shooting out of his cock and into the condom as he remained inside of her, squeezed by her inner walls.

  For a long moment, Cal could feel and hear and experience only silence, the kind of empty blankness that wrapped around him and made him feel like he was safe, like everything was truly okay. He collapsed on top of Antonia’s body, breathing hard into her neck while trembles coursed down his legs, making his hips twitch forward a little involuntarily as he came down from his amazing orgasm.

  “Oh, Jesus, shit, fuck,” Cal murmured. He swallowed hard to compensate for the dryness in his mouth, pressing soft kisses on the side of Antonia’s neck as he pulled out of her carefully, trying hard not to hurt her in any way in the aftermath of their intense sex. Cal let his hands travel up and down Antonia’s body, his nails dancing along her skin, trying to make her feel as safe and warm and protected as he did in this very moment.

  “Yeah,” Antonia finally said, apparently agreeing with Cal’s incoherent sentiment. “That was…yeah,” she added, running her fingers through Cal’s sweaty, messy hair. “Thank you.”

  “No, thank you,” Cal said, smiling down at her. He brushed some of the random strands of hair that had fallen over her eyes away from her face. “That was really amazing.”

  Antonia was silent for a minute, and Cal was afraid that he’d crossed a line he shouldn’t have even touched, but then she finally cleared her throat and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, it really was.” But despite her words, her voice was soft and hesitant, much smaller and meeker than it’d been while she was screaming for him mere minutes earlier. Worry started to prick at his brain. The warm haze of the afterglow faded away as the familiar heaviness of anxiety grew. Oh, fuck, he realized as he leaned off of Antonia, detecting a note of worry in her cloudy eyes. I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have fucking done that.

  It wasn’t that Cal regretted it at all. It had been a world-changing experience, feeling Antonia be totally vulnerable and trusting underneath him. Cal wasn’t sure if he’d ever had sex like that before in his entire life, where his partner was totally open with him, unafraid of showing that she wanted him badly. But...Cal was sure that Antonia would feel the same way once she got some time to think about what she’d just done. Only a day before, she was arguing with him about how they couldn’t do this, suggesting that it was unfair to the kids. Goddammit, Cal, he said to himself. Why do you always have to do the stupid thing, thinking with your heart and not your head?

  Maybe he could still fix this, though. Maybe he could convince her that they could really be together. But first he’d have to be honest with her. She needed to know what she was getting into if she chose to be with Cal, rather than just fucking him on the side now and again. He had to tell her the truth about the MC before it was too late. “Antonia…” Cal started to say. He cleared his throat and sat up on the couch, staring down at Antonia’s beautifully flushed, wrecked body.

  “Cal,” Antonia said back. She reached up to cup the side of Cal’s face, making his eyes fall shut just from that one gentle gesture alone. “Thank you,” she whispered again, rubbing her fingers softly along the side of his face. She tucked a lock of his wet hair back behind his ear. “Thank you so much.”

  Cal was speechless for a minute, so overwhelmed by the emotion he heard in Antonia’s voice that he could only nod slowly, keeping his eyes glued on Antonia’s perfect breasts, which still heaved as she panted for breath.

  But before Cal could get back to what he was planning to say before, Antonia moved from underneath him, getting to her feet so quickly that Cal barely had time to register that she’d moved before she struggled into her clothes. “Where are you going?” Cal asked.

  “I’ve got to pick the boys up,” Antonia explained. She flipped her hair out of her shirt as she tugged her pants back on. “I’ll be back later, though. And then we can…talk.”

  “Yeah, okay,” Cal said, wiping some of the sweat off his forehead as he stumbled to his feet, nakedly following Antonia to the front door. “I’ll talk to you later, then.”

  “Definitely,” Antonia said with a bright smile. She looked so relaxed and free that Cal’s heart stuttered a little bit in his chest just from the sight of her. Cal felt the urge to tell her that she was beautiful, that she was perfect, that her body was exactly the way it needed to be, that nothing about her needed to be changed.

  But before he could muster up the courage to actually force those words out of his mouth, let alone the truth about his second occupation, Antonia disappeared through the front door, waving goodbye before slamming it shut behind her.

  “Shit,” Cal said out loud to himself. He walked back over to the couch and let himself sag into the cushions, which were a little damp from their sex sweat. Cal sighed to himself and let his body sink into the couch, bereft of all the hopeful energy that he’d felt mere minutes before.

  I’ll tell her, he said to himself. I have to. Before it’s too late.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Antonia

  Antonia could barely focus on the road in front of her as she drove home. In the backseat, Daniel and Bobby chatted about their day. Her mind was totally consumed with images from that afternoon—Cal’s sweating, heaving body moving on top of hers. She couldn’t suppress the shivers that ran up her spine just at the thought of Cal’s naked body, his throbbing cock pressing into her again and again and again. Jesus Christ, she thought to herself. She cleared her throat to snap herse
lf out of the fantasy.

  She made the final turn on her way back to Cal’s house. If Bobby and Daniel managed to calm down and eat their dinner quickly enough, she would have time to talk to Cal, to clarify whatever the hell was going on between them. He doesn’t want anything to do with me except for the fucking, she warned herself as she headed down Cal’s street. He’s just going to let me down easy. And I’ll be okay. It’ll be fine. I don’t need a boyfriend. Even if I want one. It doesn’t matter. I’ll be fine.

  Still, Antonia slowed down a little bit as she headed for Cal’s house, willing this last moment of hope to last as long as possible. Please don’t reject me, she silently prayed as she rounded the last bend towards the house, hoping that somehow Cal’s heart could hear her silent words. Please just give me a chance. I could be good for you. We could be good together.

  Oh, fuck. Antonia almost slammed the brakes when she reached Cal’s house and saw that a cop car sat in the front drive, blue and white lights still flashing. “Shit,” she muttered out loud. She rolled to a stop in front of the house. She collected herself for a moment and sighed anxiously before getting out of the car. She went around to take the boys from the backseat. “Come on, guys, we’ve got to go inside quickly, okay?” Antonia didn’t know why she was so nervous. She’d never broken the law in her life, as far as she could remember, but her heart was still firmly planted in the center of her throat, pounding like it was trying to burst out of her body.